I am going to give you some of the best relationship advice you will ever receive. There are thousands upon thousands of dating articles telling you how to find “the one” and fall in love with (insert desired gender preference here). I am here to tell you to find “yourself” and fall in love with (insert your name here).
I think being single in your 20s is something that is wildly under-appreciated. It gives you the incredible opportunity to figure out who you are without compromising for someone else. Take this time in your life to be free, have fun, make mistakes, and build your very own SINGLESHIP.
Singleship: [Sing-guhl-ship] a relationship one has with oneself while one is single.
Ex. Sarah is embracing her singleship by doing whatever she wants whenever she wants.
One of the greatest benefits of being 20-something and single is your freedom and mobility. Being unattached gives you the opportunity to chase opportunities you might not have later in life as you become more tied down. On behalf of your singleship, take those opportunities to move somewhere new and try something new. If I had been in a relationship, I probably wouldn’t have picked up my life on a whim to work as a lifeguard at a Disney Resort. Not too many people can say they’ve worked for the mouse before, but I sure can. It was the kind of job you dream of when you “Wish Upon A Star,” and one of the greatest adventures I have had as a 20something single. I ended up in a poor financial situation and even quit four months later, but hey, it was fun while it lasted. It was something I wanted to do, so I did it. It was an important experience in my life and monumental in me embracing my very own singleship. Are you thinking about moving somewhere new and giving it a try? Whether it’s for 4 months, 4 years, or forever, I recommend you do it.
Singleship isn’t easy
No one says relationships are easy, and singleships are no exception. Being 20-something can bring some scary life changes. These changes can leave you feeling lost and confused at times. After going through some hard times myself, I can say it was nice to sort through it all by myself. The last thing you need when you are feeling bad about life is to feel bad about someone else feeling bad about you feeling bad.
There were several months of my life that left me ungracefully unemployed, depressed, and crying into my snowflake pillow case every night (I wish I was kidding). During that time, I was not a very pleasant person to be around. I am glad there wasn’t an innocent bystander waiting around to be loved by me when I didn’t even know how to love myself. To this day I am rebuilding from that storm, but I am coming out stronger. Which means my singleship is coming out stronger. Relationships take work, and that includes the one you have with yourself.
The most important thing to remember about building your singleship, is that you have to treat yourself like the love of your life. If you want to buy yourself a gift, buy yourself a gift. If you want to eat cake, eat cake. Plan a vacation for YOURSELF, and plan only activities you want to do. This is fun and rewarding in so many ways. The proudest I have ever been of myself was the day a 6-second decision turned into me driving 5 hours to sit second row at a Selena Gomez concert by myself. I have never felt more in love with myself than I did that day. I did what I wanted and I didn’t let anyone else get in the way of that. I encourage you to do the same. Do it for you. Do it for your singleship.
Do what you want, when you want, how to you want. Because you are 20-something, you are single, and it’s your time to enjoy it. Embrace your singleship and care for it. Take the time to find the things you love about yourself, and figure out how to grow from the things you don’t love as much. Once you discover those two things, and your heart is whole, then you can be ready to turn your singleship into a relationship.